Success comes from curiosity, concentration, perseverance and self-criticism. – Albert Einstein
I have had many new experiences in the last 60 days, each of which could be its own blog entry. I appeared in full formal leather uniform in public with Sir for the very first time in March! I volunteered for a local Avatar leather club BDSM play party – which was my first time ever volunteering for a leather event or attending a public play party! My Sir and I participated in a local community leather social get together to meet folks in our local community. And, we attended CLAW 25 in Cleveland, where I saw a spectacular presentation on boxing which absolutely blew my mind (who knew there were others that shared a boxing/fight kink)! I even learned some new fast and quick rope tie bondage techniques which really piqued my bondage interests.
And, you ask, how do I feel about all of this? OVERWHELMED!
Let’s start back at the beginning…. back in mid 2024, I joined a book club hosted by the Chicago Leather Archive & Museum, and I committed to reading and reviewing three books – Real Service by Raven Kaldera & Joshua Tenpenny, Protocols – A Variety of View: A Power Exchange Resource Book by Bob Rubel & L.C. Morgynn and The Deep Psychology of BDSM and Kink by Douglas Thomas. What transpired after this new learning has been a rapid pace and aggressive growth journey that I still find myself on to this day. From all of this new learning, I concluded that I need to be more authentic with myself and that I need to pursue my full identity by embracing leather.
I have been kink-positive my entire adult life. I’d pull out my kink identity just long enough to fulfill a need and then quickly retreat back to my socially acceptable buttoned-up adult self. I think a lot of younger kinksters probably identify with this – it is what many of us do to maintain an interest in kink while keeping it neatly compartmentalized. But, what characteristic traits are we shutting out by repeatedly denying ourselves the freedom of expression and an ability to live authentically?
Flash forward to CLAW 25, and I had the pleasure to attend a talk titled, History and Legacy of Leather Clubs in the United States by Jake Woods and Dr. X-Ray. Their presentation covered leather club history from 1885 to present. This was a damn good presentation, and what stuck out for me was the repeating themes – the need for belonging, brotherhood and camaraderie. 140 years have passed, but little has changed as far as the same basic human needs – a sense of belonging and a need for self expression and camaraderie.
The journey that I am on to find my leather self is presenting me with many complex challenges and emotions. I have put a lot of pressure on myself to make this transformation real and to get results. There is also a sense of urgency brought on by our ever changing politically charged world. But, as much as I like to be in control of things – I am not in control of when or how this is going to happen. During the leather club presentation at CLAW, Jake Woods asked the audience, “Where are you on your leather journey?” – and a giant light bulb went on in my head! I am on this journey – I am seeking new learning – I am building new connections – I am in the struggle working hard at making change!
So, what have I learned, you ask? Sometimes you have to slow down to speed up. I need to take more time to feel, to sense and to let these new experiences wash over. As much as I want to control this journey – that’s just not the way this works. This journey controls you. You make yourself vulnerable enough and open enough – and the change happens. Trust in the process 🙂
Booted and Bound 