Booted and Bound

Tag: Dominance

  • Locktober Chastity Celebration

    Locktober Chastity Celebration

    “The body achieves what the mind believes.”

    To celebrate this locktober, Sir Zuegi is requiring His boy to be locked and to reflect on chastity service throughout the month. Sir Zuegi and His boy s37 will each answer the following questions about their chastity experience. Enjoy, and hope you are having a great locktober!

    How did you first start playing with chastity?

    Sir Zuegi: With my boy when he presented the idea before our D/s dynamic began. I enjoyed the feeling of him being locked unable to experience orgasm and I experimented with it also so I understand the mental and physical control it takes.

    boy s37: In my early 20s with a CB-6000 device. Still have one of the devices for nostalgia. This boy would frequently self lock, and sometimes lock for a keyholder.

    What has been your biggest learning experience with chastity?

    Sir Zuegi: Learning how to read and understand my boys capacity with chastity. 

    boy s37: Learning to wear it 24×7. At first, sleeping in chastity was near impossible – the pain from wood in the middle of the night was unbearable. Lots of vasaline and baby oil. Today, this boy can sleep through the night in chastity with little to no pain/discomfort.

    What is your favorite aspect of chastity control?

    Sir Zuegi: Knowing that my boy is caged and that he feels my control over his cock. 

    boy s37: Currently, the control over the device itself. This boy is not allowed to ask Sir to wear it, and Sir controls when and if His boy is in it. Often, the times without the chastity device are the most difficult, because this boy has grown used to the security and feeling of it.

    What is a new chastity experience you’d like to try?

    Sir Zuegi: Release without removing the cage. 

    boy s37: More trigger based lock/unlock periods based on how this boy has performed towards specific goals or targets. Have always liked the idea of chastity being dependent on specific outcomes that are of interest and please my Dom.

    What advice do you have for someone just starting out with chastity?

    Sir Zuegi: Begin slowly. It’s a path of mind over matter.

    boy s37: take it slow, and enjoy every aspect/moment of the experience. It takes a lot of time to adapt, and enjoyment comes from the journey and learning along the way.

    Final thoughts: boy s37 would like to thank Sir Zuegi for allowing His boy to participate in locktober this year, and for making this boy present and aware of his chastity service for Sir.

    What role does chastity play in your dynamic? Are you participating in locktober, and if so, how?

    Approved for posting by Sir Zuegi.

  • Navigating Dom/sub Dynamics: One Year In Reflection

    Navigating Dom/sub Dynamics: One Year In Reflection

    “Don’t just learn, experience.
    Don’t just read, absorb.
    Don’t just change, transform.
    Don’t just relate, advocate.
    Don’t just promise, prove.
    Don’t just criticize, encourage.
    Don’t just think, ponder.
    Don’t just take, give.
    Don’t just see, feel.
    Don’t just dream, do. 
    Don’t just hear, listen.
    Don’t just talk, act.
    Don’t just tell, show.
    Don’t just exist, live.”     – Roy T. Bennett

    Can you believe it – we’re now one year into our Dom/sub relationship transformation. For those new to this blog, Sir Zuegi and His boy s37 have been in a kink-positive relationship for 8 years. In August of 2025, we began discussing what it would look like to transform our relationship into a Dom/sub dynamic by disrupting current norms and establishing a power dynamic. Here we are one year later living a 24×7 Dom/sub lifestyle together. The books, the podcasts, the countless hours of discussions, the numerous conferences, the local leather socials and clubs – it is hard to believe what a spectacular journey it has been.

    In this blog entry, Sir Zuegi and boy s37 will answer 4 questions each about their Dom/sub relationship dynamic from their own perspectives:

    What is the most significant change in your relationship since implementing a Dom/sub dynamic?

    Sir Zuegi >> Communication. We communicate much more often and much more precisely since implementing the D/s dynamic. It has helped immensely as we are candid and are free to say what we want/need. It also allows me to explore a more Dominant position as I can bring up a variety of topics.

    boy s37 >> Connection – an incredible level of connectedness that is allowing this boy to better align to Sir’s will. Let’s face it, life is full of not-so-fun vanilla tasks. This boy feels that more and more of the everyday is being integrated into our dynamic and that Sir is allowing Himself to have more expectations of His boy. Through this, it feels we have better alignment – and by working to please Sir, this boy feels a deeper sense of place and belonging.

    What has been the biggest challenge you’ve faced while establishing a Dom/sub dynamic?

    Sir Zuegi >> Apprehension. I have second guessed myself numerous times. It is difficult to let go of the apprehension of societal norms in vanilla relationships but when I do it is so much more intense and satisfying for both of us.

    boy s37 >> Overthinking – and not living in the moment. This boy is a thinker, a planner and very detail oriented and driven person. Often, this boy will have expectations of himself and of others that prevent this boy from being in the moment which erodes his ability to experience the here and now. These traits leave this boy thinking about what is next as opposed to enjoying and feeling satisfied in the now. The D/s relationship has amplified these challenges, and this boy is working to be more present and patient and to give up the perception of being in control.

    What advice do you have for others looking to implement a D/s into an existing relationship?

    Sir Zuegi >> My biggest piece of advice is practice communicating uninhibitedly. Both the Dom and the sub must be willing and open to discussing their greatest desires and kinks to fully get onboard with one another.

    boy s37 >> Awareness – reconcile with yourself what you want and what you need with the relationship change. Start by creating an environment for open communication built on trust and respect for each other. If you can’t build trust and respect, then layering in a D/s isn’t going to make things better. Be resilient and be the catalyst for the change you need by starting the conversation. Know that the change probably isn’t going to happen the way you think it is, and it requires time and patience.

    What are you most looking forward to in the upcoming year of your Dom/sub dynamic?

    Sir Zuegi >> Letting go of more of my apprehension and self-doubt. Knowing that my boy enjoys when I take control and break the normal vanilla norms and take us into a better, more exciting D/s headspace.

    boy s37 >> Allowance – allowing this boy to become the submissive he knows he is and that he knows he needs to be. This boy will do his best to get out of his own way so that Sir can take/have more of His boy. This boy will achieve this by not controlling the process, and by making himself more vulnerable and available to live in the present.

    Approved for posting by Sir Zuegi.

  • How Collars Shape Our Dom/sub dynamic

    How Collars Shape Our Dom/sub dynamic

    “A gem cannot be polished without friction, nor a man perfected without trials.” – Lucias Seneca

    boy s37

    The work day for Your boy is over for today -may Your boy wear Your chain collar Sir?

    (s37 approaches Sir Zuegi with collar in hand and presents for Him)

    Sir Zuegi

    Yes boy.

    (Sir Zuegi reaches for the collar to lock it on His boy)

    Recently, we had a detailed conversation about collaring and what it means to Sir Zuegi and His boy s37.  In this blog entry, we will describe how collars are used in our D/s (Dom/sub) dynamic, the meaning behind them, and how that is evolving over time.

    What does the collar mean to Sir and His boy?

    Sir Zuegi: For Me, the collar represents my domination over my boy. It is both a physical and psychological item that transforms my headspace. When I see my boy in his collar it is a visual representation of our dynamic. I enjoy being asked at events if he is collared for Me, which I excitedly reply yes. The collar is both a tangible item that is our dynamic and also portrays that to others as well.

    boy s37: For this boy, the collar represents my commitment to Sir Zuegi as His leatherboy, and so long as I am allowed to wear His collar, then this boy is dedicated to all He expects of me.  The collar gives me an incredible sense of security and belonging.  When in Sir’s collar, this boy feels part of something much larger and is compelled to be a more obedient boy focused on improving for Him.  

    What are the collar types in our D/s dynamic?

    In our D/s relationship, Sir has defined four physical collar types and one virtual collar type:

    Physical Types:

    Daily Collar – This collar is a thin piece of leather with a handmade glass pendant of the leatherboy flag.  This collar represents Sir’s boy’s will to serve and uphold the values of the leathermen lifestyle.  This boy is often in this collar and wears it throughout the day when at work.  This collar is more easily disguisable as most would see it as art and wouldn’t understand the significance of it.  Sir has a matching BDSM glass flag pendant, which He sometimes wears.

    Chain Collar – This collar is a heavy chain and lock that can only be removed with a key.  This collar is more substantial and harder to disguise as it is tight enough around the neck to not be easily hidden under a shirt.  This collar carries more significance for public protocol that Sir requires.

    Training Collar – This is a leather locking collar with a simple D ring in the front for a leash attachment.  This collar is worn when Sir expects a high level of communication protocol from His boy.  This collar carries a number of service requirements that establish a more formal setting between Sir and His boy.

    Bondage Collar – This is a leather or rubber locking collar with many bondage D rings for attachment.  Leather or rubber is used depending on the context the collar is being used in.  These collars have the highest level communication protocol requirement.  The collars are generally used in the dungeon playspace or when Sir requires absolute control and obedience from His boy.

    Virtual Type:

    No-Collar: The no-collar is a virtual collar type that Sir’s boy can wear when Sir tells His boy he is to be in no-collar mode or when His boy uses the safeword and requests to be in no-collar mode.  The no-collar effectively turns off all protocols and expectations that a physical collar carries and symbolizes.  This collar can be used during certain travel scenarios or when visiting family in order to shut off our D/s protocol and ritual requirements.  We have found that this prevents having D/s expectations during times when it is difficult to maintain the lifestyle, however this gets used very infrequently.

    What are our current collar rituals and protocols?

    This is where things get interesting and differ in our D/s dynamic.  Many of the protocols and service expectations in our D/s are dependent and tied to the usage of the various collar types.  Each collar represents a level of protocol and service requirement that Sir expects.  

    The following are examples:

    • Daily Collar: When wearing this collar, this boy must always perform the AM ritual, which informs Sir of this boy’s chastity status and days since last allowed release.  
    • Chain Collar: This boy walks slightly behind Sir’s right heel when in public.
    • Training Collar: This boy must provide AM coffee service to Sir, ensuring Sir has His coffee the way He likes it right out of bed.
    • Bondage Collar: This boy should be in a kneeling present position and awaiting any order from Sir.  If kneeling is not appropriate then this boy will be in standing present.

    This is only a sampling – as each collar has numerous protocols and service expectations.  Each collar inherits the protocols before it, so as an example, the bondage collar represents all the controls for bondage, training, chain and daily collar types.  This makes it so that the collars build on each other.

    The collar types with associated protocols, rituals and services has been a great tool to structure our BDSM dynamic.  What this boy most appreciates about this structure is that he can clearly understand what is expected of him based on what collar Sir has placed him in.  

    How is collaring evolving in our relationship?

     Both Sir and His boy agree that collaring has been a significant part of our D/s dynamic, and therefore we continue to grow with this and be clear with each other on expectations and challenges.  During a recent conversation about collaring, a number of areas were identified for growth and improvement.  We continue to work through these as a means to strengthen our commitment.

    Sir identified a challenge where it sometimes isn’t clear to Him when His boy is done with work and able to be in a more service mindset.  While this boy always aims to serve, there are challenges during the work week, especially since this boy works from home which blurs any boundaries.  We are working to solve this through collaring, and this boy is now requesting Sir’s permission to wear His chain collar after the workday is done.  This has created a clear delineation in the day and feels like a much more natural transition.  Also, this boy has noticed that his stress levels go down immediately when Sir places the chain around His boy’s neck.

    Sir is often gone for business, and this leaves His boy to figure out collar changes on his own.  Our current collaring protocols do not define this well, and His boy identified this as a challenge area.  This boy wants to honor Sir’s collars and His expectations for them, and feels he needs more structure to know when to collar and change collars for Sir.

    The current daily-collar isn’t shower or workout friendly, which requires this boy to remove it at times throughout the day.  Sir’s collar gives this boy such an incredible sense of security that removing it, even for a brief period, interrupts this boy’s sense of connectedness.  Therefore, a more durable daily-collar could reduce and/or eliminate the need for most removals.

    Lastly, protocols, rituals and services tied to each collar continue to evolve as Sir sees fit to help with His boy’s growth and development.  This is a constant evolution that will continue to morph and change as Sir’s needs and expectations change.  

    This boy is grateful to wear Sir’s collars, and wears each of them with a sense of pride and gratitude.  This boy looks forward to this continued evolution as we work to make our D/s dynamic stronger and more resilient.

    What role does collaring play in your relationship? How have your collaring expectations changed over time and where do you see them going?

    Approved for posting by Sir Zuegi.

  • Navigating My Kink Journey: Finding Authenticity

    Navigating My Kink Journey: Finding Authenticity

    Success comes from curiosity, concentration, perseverance and self-criticism. – Albert Einstein

    I have had many new experiences in the last 60 days, each of which could be its own blog entry.  I appeared in full formal leather uniform in public with Sir for the very first time in March!  I volunteered for a local Avatar leather club BDSM play party – which was my first time ever volunteering for a leather event or attending a public play party!  My Sir and I participated in a local community leather social get together to meet folks in our local community.  And, we attended CLAW 25 in Cleveland, where I saw a spectacular presentation on boxing which absolutely blew my mind (who knew there were others that shared a boxing/fight kink)! I even learned some new fast and quick rope tie bondage techniques which really piqued my bondage interests.

    And, you ask, how do I feel about all of this?  OVERWHELMED!

    Let’s start back at the beginning…. back in mid 2024, I joined a book club hosted by the Chicago Leather Archive & Museum, and I committed to reading and reviewing three books – Real Service by Raven Kaldera & Joshua Tenpenny, Protocols – A Variety of View: A Power Exchange Resource Book by Bob Rubel & L.C. Morgynn and The Deep Psychology of BDSM and Kink by Douglas Thomas.  What transpired after this new learning has been a rapid pace and aggressive growth journey that I still find myself on to this day.  From all of this new learning, I concluded that I need to be more authentic with myself and that I need to pursue my full identity by embracing leather.

    I have been kink-positive my entire adult life.  I’d pull out my kink identity just long enough to fulfill a need and then quickly retreat back to my socially acceptable buttoned-up adult self.  I think a lot of younger kinksters probably identify with this – it is what many of us do to maintain an interest in kink while keeping it neatly compartmentalized.  But, what characteristic traits are we shutting out by repeatedly denying ourselves the freedom of expression and an ability to live authentically?

    Flash forward to CLAW 25, and I had the pleasure to attend a talk titled, History and Legacy of Leather Clubs in the United States by Jake Woods and Dr. X-Ray.  Their presentation covered leather club history from 1885 to present.  This was a damn good presentation, and what stuck out for me was the repeating themes – the need for belonging, brotherhood and camaraderie.  140 years have passed, but little has changed as far as the same basic human needs – a sense of belonging and a need for self expression and camaraderie.

    The journey that I am on to find my leather self is presenting me with many complex challenges and emotions.  I have put a lot of pressure on myself to make this transformation real and to get results.  There is also a sense of urgency brought on by our ever changing politically charged world.  But, as much as I like to be in control of things – I am not in control of when or how this is going to happen.  During the leather club presentation at CLAW, Jake Woods asked the audience, “Where are you on your leather journey?” – and a giant light bulb went on in my head!  I am on this journey – I am seeking new learning – I am building new connections – I am in the struggle working hard at making change!

    So, what have I learned, you ask?  Sometimes you have to slow down to speed up.  I need to take more time to feel, to sense and to let these new experiences wash over.  As much as I want to control this journey – that’s just not the way this works.  This journey controls you.  You make yourself vulnerable enough and open enough – and the change happens.  Trust in the process 🙂

  • Bootblacking: Elevating the Experience

    Bootblacking: Elevating the Experience

    “Nothing ever becomes real till it is experienced.” – John Keats

    Both my Dom and I enjoy boots and boot worship a lot! He likes to wear them, and I like to be under them 😉 So much so that I have taken up bootblacking and have been learning new skills by caring for all of Sir’s boots and leathers.

    Recently, I came across this fun cigar sex post on bsky, and it got me thinking about equivalents for boot worship…

    … what would a similar list look like for boot worship? I decided that deserved some time and attention 😈. I wrote this list of ideas from a submissive bootblack perspective (me) – serving Sir’s boots as His bootblack in training – enjoy ~

    1. Your bootblack making You a drink or providing You with beers or whiskey during a bootblack session.
    2. A bootblack fetching Sir a smoke or lighting His cigar during a session.
    3. Your bootblack acting as Sir’s footstool before or after a bootblacking session.
    4. Your bootblack tied up or restrained and required to beg to clean Sir’s boots.
    5. Allowing my bootblack to unlock his cage and edge himself from time to time during a bootblacking session. (perhaps using shoe grease?)
    6. Allowing and encouraging my boy to smell Sir’s boots during a bootblack session.
    7. My boy wearing a gas mask and taking in the must/scent of one of Sir’s boots while he cleans them.
    8. Sir stroking His cock in front of His boy during a bootblack session. (preferably while His boy is locked in chastity)
    9. Allowing boy to worship Sir’s cock and/or balls during a bootblacking session.
    10. Spitting on my boy during a bootblacking session.
    11. Spitting in my boy’s mouth so he can spit polish Sir’s boots with the saliva.
    12. Allowing my boy to stimulate himself by riding a dildo during a bootblack session.
    13. Using restraints on a bootblack to make the job more difficult or impossible to complete.
    14. Timing a bootblack session as a means to determine the length of an activity or punishment. (perhaps without the boy knowing he is being timed?)
    15. Forcing a boy to apply conditioner or grease with his tongue. (with edible non-toxic product)
    16. Branding my boy with a footprint (tattoo, sticker, or with a boot print w/ black ink)
    17. Writing bootboy/bootblack/bootslut on my boy with a permanent marker.
    18. Plugging my boy before, during or after a bootblack session.
    19. Fucking my boy during or after a bootblack session.
    20. Beating my boy with my newly cleaned boots.
    21. Telling my boy he might get fucked depending on the quality of the shine or some other session parameter.
    22. Having my boy act as my urinal during a bootblack session.
    23. Taking pictures of my boy during a bootblacking session.
    24. Having my boy post a pic of my cleaned boots on social media upon completion.
    25. Requiring my boy to take Sir to dinner after a bootblacking session with Sir in His newly shined boots.
    26. Requiring my boy to do pushups at random times during a bootblack session.
    27. Allowing my boy to hump my boots until he orgasms after a bootblack session 😈. <yeah, that happened – TY Sir!>
    28. …and the list goes on…

    What other ideas do you have – post them in the comments! Have you tried some of these? Share your experience in the comments!

  • Embracing BDSM: Navigating Dom/sub Dynamic Challenges

    Embracing BDSM: Navigating Dom/sub Dynamic Challenges

    The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be. – Deb Sofield

    My Dom and I are both kinky people, and we have been since the day we met. In fact, kink is what brought us together from the time we first cruised each other on recon. We each have a vast list of kinks we like, and thankfully, we share many in common. Our interests go well beyond our kinks, and as with most relationships, it requires change and focus to keep up with the changing times. Late last year, we started to embrace BDSM, and specifically the formation of a Dom/sub dynamic between us. While we enjoy leather, sports gear, and a myriad of other fetishes, we had not yet evolved into the arena of full power play dynamics and more pronounced roles as Dom and sub.

    Making that switch to a BDSM Dom/sub style relationship dynamic has been no small effort, and we continue to learn, experiment and discover ways to make this work for us.  I will share some of my greatest challenges with this as a sub, and reflect on the things I am doing to better myself and our relationship.

    Our situation is perhaps a little unique, because we are in a committed long-term relationship that is working to implement pronounced Dom/sub roles.  While we have always been into certain aspects of kink play, many of our relationship constructs were more ‘vanilla’ in nature. We do all the things couples like to do, like buying a house, arguing over paint colors, and getting groceries together. Super kinky right?!  No, in fact, there are a bunch of mundane normal “life” things that can be pretty boring, stressful and real kink killers. Discussing finances, worrying about a career, planning for healthcare – all real buzz killers. The day to day mechanics of commitment can be challenging at best and can test any relationship.

    Now add BDSM to that mix and things get real tricky. Part of that D/s dynamic is being true to your role, and for me that is a submissive leatherboy.  I’m a pretty short fused submissive with a decent amount of self confidence and a love of managing and controlling many things in my day to day life. Knowing how to be submissive and how to let go of having full control is a real challenge for me, because frankly, I am not entirely subservient in all ways.  At times, that has left me questioning my role – am I really a submissive if I can be so controlling?  Sexually, I’m a bottom, but that doesn’t directly imply total submissiveness. After many years of soul searching, I have concluded that yes, I am submissive, but with some real quirks. What truly motivates me is being controlled by outside influences, and one of those key influencers is my Dom. Deep down, I want to please, and I crave that feeling of doing and achieving for someone else.  

    Knowing you are a submissive and acting like one is two different things. We’ll be going through our day to day lives, with me wearing my collar as a symbol of Sir’s ownership and my commitment to Him, but I still veer off path. We’ll be doing housework or some other mundane task, and I will push back or be argumentative. Why?  Because I’m an opinionated human with faults, but this action almost always kills my submissive headspace and just makes me feel lost and disconnected.  So, why do I do it – why does it happen over and over?  It is habit and we humans tend to fall back to what we know regardless of how it makes us feel.  Even though it degrades my headspace and works against everything I am working hard to achieve, it happens over and over. And, it doesn’t just create challenges for me, it creates role challenges for my Dom. So, how does one resolve this?

    They say the first step is to fixing something is admitting you have a problem. So, here we are, step one – check.  The next step is putting effort into correcting the problem. A hallmark of BDSM and the D/s dynamic is behavior modification – or more specifically, behavior emulation of a desired role. I desire to be a better sub, one that is easier to live with, one that obeys, and one that works really hard to earn Sir’s trust and respect. To achieve that in a 24×7 dynamic, means respecting and honoring the little things – the really mundane stuff like making the bed, which Sir requires of His boy. It isn’t just the kinky-sexy stuff, but also the little day to day stuff.  It’s caring about the details and executing in a way that respects Sir’s wishes and demonstrates the utmost respect for Him and for my role.  It is respecting myself and working to achieve outcomes that make me feel good about who I am becoming – His leatherboy.

    They say it is the journey and not the destination, and in terms of BDSM, nothing could be more true. We aren’t born who we want to be – we become that image of who we want to be by emulating the behaviors that we most desire to posses. I desire to be less controlling, more caring, and a true leatherboy – mind, body and soul.

    There is no perfect solution to this challenge for me yet. So far, I have learned to observe and to communicate. Through these practices, I grow closer to my goal, and with time and energy, I believe our D/s dynamic will grow stronger.  I wouldn’t trade this growth opportunity and all of its challenges for anything in the world.

  • Chastity Q&A

    Chastity Q&A

    “Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out.” – Robert J. Collier

    In this blog entry, Sir Zuegi and boy s37 will respond to five questions about s37’s chastity service. Both Sir Zuegi and s37 are aware of each other’s questions, but will not have visibility into each other’s answers until this is published.   

     

    Question 1:

    s37: What does it mean to boy s37 to be locked in chastity for Sir Zuegi?

    >> I view being locked in chastity as one of the greatest gestures and sacrifices I can make to Sir as His disciplined leatherboy. My suppression of my own sexual impulses for Him is a testament of my commitment and my willingness to put His needs before my own. 

    We recently attended a class at CLAW LA, where a Dom/sub couple were presenting on their dynamic, and the Dom showcased His sub’s locked cock in the class by pulling it out from his jock pouch.  His Sir then said, “I have the dick, and he has the hole.”  It was a  perfect display of power play exchange between a Dom and His sub, and it is how I feel about my privilege to serve Sir in chastity and demonstrate my willingness to serve.  

    Sir Zuegi: What does it mean to Sir Zuegi to lock His boy s37 in chastity?

    >> It means having control over both his sexual and mental desires. Its restricting access and making him think of me with a physical reminder.

    —

    Question 2:

    s37: How often does boy s37 get to unlock, and how does it feel to be unlocked?

    >> As I write this, I am unlocked and on an airplane sitting next to Sir.  I dislike being unlocked, because when I am unlocked it is much harder for me to maintain sub headspace and it forces me to be more self disciplined and not to give in to temptation. Having sexual urges while being unlocked means staying focused on the fact that Sir has complete control over my dick even when I’m not caged for Him. Is this good training for His boy?  Yes, but I definitely prefer feeling the safety of the cage when Sir has me locked and He holds the key. 

    Sir Zuegi: How often does Sir Zuegi allow His boy to unlock, and how does it feel to You for s37 to be unlocked?

    >> I prefer he’s only unlocked when necessary, like for travel or practical reasons. I prefer boy to be locked and I feel when he is unlocked his mindspace isn’t the same.

    —

    Question 3:

    s37: Is it okay for boy s37 to ask or beg to be unlocked, and if allowed to unlock, does this mean that boy s37 is then allowed to cum?

    >> There is an unwritten rule between us that I do not beg to be unlocked and I only ask to be unlocked when appropriate, such as when passing through airport security. As a sub, I hate begging – it isn’t my thing, and I’m not the type of sub that wants to emphasize my desires/needs over that of Sir’s. So, I don’t beg, and I don’t think that begging is something that Sir desires to see me do. 

    As for being allowed to cum – I do not associate being unlocked with that privilege.  Another unwritten rule is that I ask Sir to cum and receive permission before I am allowed.  To me, this is an important part of being a disciplined leatherboy.

    Sir Zuegi: Is it okay for Your boy to ask or beg to be unlocked, and if allowed to unlock by You, does this mean Your boy s37 is then allowed to cum?

    >> Yes it is ok to beg to be unlocked and I if granted I would approve of boy to cum as it is necessary to stay physically and mentally fit.

    —

    Question 4:

    s37: How does boy s37 remain committed to chastity service and ensure Sir Zuegi remains aware of His boy’s time in chastity?

    >> Early on in the development of our dynamic we created a ritual/protocol that each morning I kneel in front of Sir, thank Him for being locked (or unlocked), and then let Him know how many days since my last allowed uncaged release. I have found this to be an incredibly important ritual, because it helps me maintain a service mindset.  When I am not physically present in front of Sir, then I text Him this exchange.

    Before this ritual was created, it was hard to keep my chastity top of mind and it almost became background. This ritual really allows me to connect with Sir each day over this privilege/sacrifice – and I am extremely thankful to have this moment with Him each day to demonstrate my dedication to being disciplined in this way.

    Sir Zuegi: How does Sir Zuegi remain committed to His boy’s chastity service, and ensure His boy remains constantly aware of his time in chastity?

    >> I require he remains locked or asked to be unlocked even when we are separated.

    —

    Question 5:

    s37: What is the one change boy s37 would like to see with chastity service that he has not yet communicated to Sir Zuegi?

    >> As a good leatherboy, I think I should feel thankful to be locked full time and to suppress all my inner desires to feel pleasure through my locked cock. However, there is a part of me that still wants to feel pleasure. My desire would be to experience edging either as denial or as part of some form of gratification as part of my chastity service.  What I would get from this is two fold – demonstrating my ability to control orgasm for Sir by only cumming with His approval, and to satisfy a need to still feel pleasure knowing full well that it might only lead to frustration. However, I feel that both aspects would demonstrate my dedication to being a disciplined leatherboy.

    Sir Zuegi: What is the one change Sir Zuegi would like to see with chastity service that He has not yet communicated to His boy?

    >> When unlocked boy has his device near him as a reminder that even though he is unlocked he will be locked again.

    –

    Check s37’s current chastity lock status.

    Are you locked in chastity or a Dom/keyholder for someone locked?  If so, what role does chastity play in Y/your dynamic, and what is Y/your favorite aspect of chastity play?

  • Health & Fitness as a Dynamic

    Health & Fitness as a Dynamic

    “Do something today that your future self will thank you for.“ – Sean Patrick Flanery

    What does it mean to mix health and fitness with a BDSM dynamic to drive towards your desired outcomes? As I explore my own interests with BDSM and health & fitness, I consider this question and the potential to bring these two together in interesting ways.  Both interests stand on their own, but the intersection of BDSM and health & fitness create unique opportunities for shared accountability.  Both my Dom and I are quite interested in health & fitness and we have each made it a goal to keep ourselves fit.  As we explore our emerging Dom/sub dynamic, health & fitness continues to be a key part of the dynamic we are working towards.  We will explore this further and share where we are today, and where we see this headed in the future.

    From a sub perspective, I want to be fit, I want to be healthy, and I want to be held accountable for achieving those desired outcomes.  During our goal defining talks, we discussed our shared interest in improving our health & fitness for each other.  My Dom is aware of His boy’s athletic nature, and is very supportive of his boy’s desire to grow physically stronger and more athletic for Him.  He is aware that His boy doesn’t desire to be a bodybuilder, but rather an athletic and muscular boy that maintains fitness as a lifestyle.  Thankfully, this is something that we share in common, but reconciling our differences and understanding our commonalities was the first step in creating our emerging D/s dynamic.

    I am equally energized by seeing my Dom succeed, and for Him to pursue His personal health and fitness goals.  While it can be challenging for a sub to hold a Dom accountable – we made His goals a central part of our overall dynamic.  His boy assists Him with His measures, His diet tracking, and also ensuring that Sir has workout plans that are both effective and tuned to His specific liking.  

    To make our health & fitness BDSM dynamic take shape, we have established measurement protocols that allow for continuous monitoring and analysis of our progress towards our approved health & fitness goals.  On the first of each month, we go through the process of collecting measures specific to our established goals, and then His boy compiles this information and presents it to Sir as part of a health & fitness accountability session.

    What does it look like to then take action on this measurement info?  You can view Sir Zuegi’s monthly measure collection, and see how He is progressing towards His defined goals.  And, you can view boy s37’s monthly measure collection, and see how he is progressing towards his defined goals.  The second step in creating this dynamic was for His boy to collect this data, organize it, and make it visible to Sir.  This is a service that this boy provides and one that Sir Zuegi expects.  Beyond that, boy s37 maintains a health & fitness jockboy diary blog that chronicles his day to day actions to stay accountable for required outcomes.

    The final step in creating our health & fitness dynamic is maintaining on-going lasting accountability.  This is a work in progress, but a scene document has been drafted to document this and explore what that might look like.  This boy maintains the data and analysis for Sir so that He can keep His leather household accountable for His approved and expected outcomes.  In addition, His boy can seek ways that he can assist Sir with achieving these outcomes by creating more opportunities.  Examples of this are preparing clean meals, writing workout plans, and maintaining the gym space.

    We are in the early stages of establishing this dynamic, but we both remain very excited about where we are and where we see this going.  Staying true to the mission of this blog, we will publish more info on our progress and details about what works and what doesn’t.  Starting in early February 2025, boy s37 will publish outcomes each month about how Sir Zuegi and His boy are progressing towards defined health and fitness goal targets.  The purpose of these public posts is to create exposure to help us stay motivated and accountable.

    Do you use BDSM as an accountability dynamic for health and fitness goals, and if so, what has your experience been?  What has worked, and what hasn’t worked? 

  • Planning for Growth

    Planning for Growth

    “You must do things that you think you cannot do.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

    In a time not so far away, I would’ve only dreamt of living in a full-time 24×7 D/s dynamic.  But, with courage, the power of communication, and goal setting and planning, we are on our way to achieving just that.

    I have always been a somewhat goal oriented person.  But, there is a catch – deep down – I want to make that achievement for someone else.  I want to be accepted and rewarded for good behavior and corrected and disciplined when I veer off.  I want to improve for my Sir, and improve in areas that will please Him most.  I want to feel His support and I want to submit to Him for my failings so that I am fully accountable to Him.  I want to be there for Him in ways that He needs me to be so that I am part of His growth and development.  Together, I want us to achieve great things and to grow together.

    In late 2024, we set out to define goals to further our pursuit of BDSM and to achieve greater health and wellness.  As much as I’d like to just be assigned goals and told what I will achieve, there is a practical aspect required to truly implement a healthy 24×7 D/s dynamic.  Therefore, we approached this in a much more collaborative way.  Over the course of several sessions, we drafted and iterated on a set of goals that we felt could be achieved and that would further our growth.  What made this possible was open and transparent communication, and the willingness to be open with each other about what we want for ourselves as well as for each other.

    To anchor our goal setting process in BDSM, each goal and/or goal change must be presented and approved by Sir.  This gives Sir ultimate authority and control over what His boy is focused on.  We completed this process, and Sir has approved each of the following goals:

    Leather Lifestyle Goals:

    [Approved by Sir Zuegi 6-Dec-2024] My boy and I will work to implement leather lifestyle and BDSM principles to support our growth as individuals and as life partners.  I will work to grow in my role as Dom, and my boy s37 will work to grow in his role as my collared sub.

    [Approved by Sir Zuegi 6-Dec-2024] My boy and I will create and maintain a contract and set of leathermen household protocols to live by.  I expect My boy to enter a service contract with me and follow my required protocols.

     [Approved by Sir Zuegi 6-Dec-2024] My boy and I will attend leather and BDSM oriented community events.  I expect my boy to demonstrate respect and to represent us well at all events I allow him to attend.

    [Approved by Sir Zuegi 6-Dec-2024] My boy will practice leather care in his role as my bootblack.  I expect him to be learning and practicing to ensure proper care of all of our leather household gear.

    Learning Goals:

    [Approved by Sir Zuegi 6-Dec-2024] We will each be learning new BDSM techniques to further our growth and development.  This will include books, videos and hands-on training classes and seminars.  I expect my boy to regularly share his  learnings, findings and experiences.

    Health & Fitness Goals:

    [Approved by Sir Zuegi 22-Dec-2024] My boy s37 will develop a physique that is pleasing to me and that aligns with an athletic and muscular build with a targeted body fat percentage of 10-15%, a chest measure of 40”, bicep measures of 14”, a shoulder measure of 46” and thigh measures of 24”.

    [Approved by Sir Zuegi 6-Dec-2024] My boy s37 will develop and maintain a rock solid core with a chiseled and visible set of abs that’s pleasing to me.

    [Approved by Sir Zuegi 6-Dec-2024] My boy s37 will develop and maintain excellent cardiovascular health and endurance so that he performs well for all of my required training.

    [Approved by Sir Zuegi 6-Dec-2024] My boy s37 will track and maintain our fitness progress through body measurements and regular performance tracking and make this info available for greater accountability.

    [Approved by Sir Zuegi 6-Dec-2024] My boy s37 will be held responsible for delivering measurable progress towards his health & fitness goals as well as towards mine.  I expect my boy to assist me in whatever ways necessary to ensure we are both delivering measurable results that satisfy me.

    [Approved by Sir Zuegi 6-Dec-2024] I will build a more muscular physique and eat a balanced diet to maintain good health and physical form. A measurable goal of a 35 in waist, a 38″ belly and a targeted body fat percentage of 20%.

    Community Goals:

    [Approved by Sir Zuegi 6-Dec-2024] I expect my boy to volunteer for one or more leather/BDSM organizations as a means to give back to the community.

    [Approved by Sir Zuegi 6-Dec-2024] I expect my boy to maintain a public facing blog that supports writings around my goals for him, and other topics of interest that I assign and approve for him.

    I would encourage anyone into BDSM to define goals and doing so collaboratively in a relationship makes a lot of sense.  You can add a D/s aspect by layering in protocols for goal approval, goal review and goal progress checks.  Set achievable goals, but also some that will push you and drive you towards growth. 

    The purpose of this blog is to showcase writings about goal progress and achievements throughout the year as required by Sir’s approved community goal for his boy.  Stay tuned for progress updates as well as info on goal progress and challenges as we progress through the year.

    Do you have goals as part of your BDSM dynamic?  If so, leave a comment below and share any recommendations you have on how to incorporate goals and manage to them as part of a kink dynamic.