Booted and Bound

Tag: control

  • How Collars Shape Our Dom/sub dynamic

    How Collars Shape Our Dom/sub dynamic

    “A gem cannot be polished without friction, nor a man perfected without trials.” – Lucias Seneca

    boy s37

    The work day for Your boy is over for today -may Your boy wear Your chain collar Sir?

    (s37 approaches Sir Zuegi with collar in hand and presents for Him)

    Sir Zuegi

    Yes boy.

    (Sir Zuegi reaches for the collar to lock it on His boy)

    Recently, we had a detailed conversation about collaring and what it means to Sir Zuegi and His boy s37.  In this blog entry, we will describe how collars are used in our D/s (Dom/sub) dynamic, the meaning behind them, and how that is evolving over time.

    What does the collar mean to Sir and His boy?

    Sir Zuegi: For Me, the collar represents my domination over my boy. It is both a physical and psychological item that transforms my headspace. When I see my boy in his collar it is a visual representation of our dynamic. I enjoy being asked at events if he is collared for Me, which I excitedly reply yes. The collar is both a tangible item that is our dynamic and also portrays that to others as well.

    boy s37: For this boy, the collar represents my commitment to Sir Zuegi as His leatherboy, and so long as I am allowed to wear His collar, then this boy is dedicated to all He expects of me.  The collar gives me an incredible sense of security and belonging.  When in Sir’s collar, this boy feels part of something much larger and is compelled to be a more obedient boy focused on improving for Him.  

    What are the collar types in our D/s dynamic?

    In our D/s relationship, Sir has defined four physical collar types and one virtual collar type:

    Physical Types:

    Daily Collar – This collar is a thin piece of leather with a handmade glass pendant of the leatherboy flag.  This collar represents Sir’s boy’s will to serve and uphold the values of the leathermen lifestyle.  This boy is often in this collar and wears it throughout the day when at work.  This collar is more easily disguisable as most would see it as art and wouldn’t understand the significance of it.  Sir has a matching BDSM glass flag pendant, which He sometimes wears.

    Chain Collar – This collar is a heavy chain and lock that can only be removed with a key.  This collar is more substantial and harder to disguise as it is tight enough around the neck to not be easily hidden under a shirt.  This collar carries more significance for public protocol that Sir requires.

    Training Collar – This is a leather locking collar with a simple D ring in the front for a leash attachment.  This collar is worn when Sir expects a high level of communication protocol from His boy.  This collar carries a number of service requirements that establish a more formal setting between Sir and His boy.

    Bondage Collar – This is a leather or rubber locking collar with many bondage D rings for attachment.  Leather or rubber is used depending on the context the collar is being used in.  These collars have the highest level communication protocol requirement.  The collars are generally used in the dungeon playspace or when Sir requires absolute control and obedience from His boy.

    Virtual Type:

    No-Collar: The no-collar is a virtual collar type that Sir’s boy can wear when Sir tells His boy he is to be in no-collar mode or when His boy uses the safeword and requests to be in no-collar mode.  The no-collar effectively turns off all protocols and expectations that a physical collar carries and symbolizes.  This collar can be used during certain travel scenarios or when visiting family in order to shut off our D/s protocol and ritual requirements.  We have found that this prevents having D/s expectations during times when it is difficult to maintain the lifestyle, however this gets used very infrequently.

    What are our current collar rituals and protocols?

    This is where things get interesting and differ in our D/s dynamic.  Many of the protocols and service expectations in our D/s are dependent and tied to the usage of the various collar types.  Each collar represents a level of protocol and service requirement that Sir expects.  

    The following are examples:

    • Daily Collar: When wearing this collar, this boy must always perform the AM ritual, which informs Sir of this boy’s chastity status and days since last allowed release.  
    • Chain Collar: This boy walks slightly behind Sir’s right heel when in public.
    • Training Collar: This boy must provide AM coffee service to Sir, ensuring Sir has His coffee the way He likes it right out of bed.
    • Bondage Collar: This boy should be in a kneeling present position and awaiting any order from Sir.  If kneeling is not appropriate then this boy will be in standing present.

    This is only a sampling – as each collar has numerous protocols and service expectations.  Each collar inherits the protocols before it, so as an example, the bondage collar represents all the controls for bondage, training, chain and daily collar types.  This makes it so that the collars build on each other.

    The collar types with associated protocols, rituals and services has been a great tool to structure our BDSM dynamic.  What this boy most appreciates about this structure is that he can clearly understand what is expected of him based on what collar Sir has placed him in.  

    How is collaring evolving in our relationship?

     Both Sir and His boy agree that collaring has been a significant part of our D/s dynamic, and therefore we continue to grow with this and be clear with each other on expectations and challenges.  During a recent conversation about collaring, a number of areas were identified for growth and improvement.  We continue to work through these as a means to strengthen our commitment.

    Sir identified a challenge where it sometimes isn’t clear to Him when His boy is done with work and able to be in a more service mindset.  While this boy always aims to serve, there are challenges during the work week, especially since this boy works from home which blurs any boundaries.  We are working to solve this through collaring, and this boy is now requesting Sir’s permission to wear His chain collar after the workday is done.  This has created a clear delineation in the day and feels like a much more natural transition.  Also, this boy has noticed that his stress levels go down immediately when Sir places the chain around His boy’s neck.

    Sir is often gone for business, and this leaves His boy to figure out collar changes on his own.  Our current collaring protocols do not define this well, and His boy identified this as a challenge area.  This boy wants to honor Sir’s collars and His expectations for them, and feels he needs more structure to know when to collar and change collars for Sir.

    The current daily-collar isn’t shower or workout friendly, which requires this boy to remove it at times throughout the day.  Sir’s collar gives this boy such an incredible sense of security that removing it, even for a brief period, interrupts this boy’s sense of connectedness.  Therefore, a more durable daily-collar could reduce and/or eliminate the need for most removals.

    Lastly, protocols, rituals and services tied to each collar continue to evolve as Sir sees fit to help with His boy’s growth and development.  This is a constant evolution that will continue to morph and change as Sir’s needs and expectations change.  

    This boy is grateful to wear Sir’s collars, and wears each of them with a sense of pride and gratitude.  This boy looks forward to this continued evolution as we work to make our D/s dynamic stronger and more resilient.

    What role does collaring play in your relationship? How have your collaring expectations changed over time and where do you see them going?

    Approved for posting by Sir Zuegi.

  • Power Exchange: Establishing a Relationship Imbalance

    Power Exchange: Establishing a Relationship Imbalance

    “Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson

    It was almost a year ago now that we began transforming our relationship into a D/s (Dominant/submissive) dynamic and embracing a leathermen lifestyle.  It has been a fun ride, and we have definitely faced some challenges along the way.  One of the greatest challenges has been defining a power exchange dynamic that supports and allows our D/s to grow.  In this blog entry, we will discuss some of the steps we are taking and some of the lessons we have learned along the way.

    First, the power exchange – notice that we are not calling it total power exchange (TPE) as it is often called in the BDSM community.  We decided early on that exchanging total power between us wasn’t practical.  We came to that conclusion after trying a couple of power exchange ideas and learning that they did little for our dynamic.  It was through this trial and error that we learned that total power exchange wasn’t practical for us.  So, we landed on power exchange (PE) without total-exchange being the goal.  Overcoming this mental barrier and understanding that power exchange didn’t have to be “total” in scope helped us establish a more practical approach for creating desired power imbalance in our relationship.

    The further we get into this D/s lifestyle, the more we’ve felt the benefits of having defined Dominant and submissive roles.  The deeper we go, the more we want, but at times our desires go beyond our knowledge of how to get deeper.  This is where new learning has helped, and through podcasts, books, and conferences we have learned techniques to expand our understanding and thinking about BDSM and power exchange.

    We recently listened to an episode of the Loving BDSM podcast titled, “How to Be Consistent in D/s | Making D/s Work in the Real World”.  This was an incredible episode, and it helped my Dom and I understand the need for practical application of power-exchange.  Early on, we had tried power exchange protocols around financial control, but we discovered that this did little for Him or His sub, and therefore it did not contribute to our dynamic.  Based on these past experiences and the new learning from the podcast, we sat down and discussed areas in our relationship where we felt power exchange could be more interesting and successful.  We wrote down our ideas, and from this, we came up with the following list:

    • Chores
    • Diet control
    • Fitness
    • Gear/Uniform
    • Goals
    • Grooming
    • Kink Events
    • Online Presence
    • Personal Care
    • Sexual Control

    As we discussed each area, we identified specific ideas where both Sir and His boy had a common interest.  If His boy had an interest but Sir did not, then it did not make the list and vice versa.  What we discovered is that we have many areas in our life with shared interest where Sir can focus on taking control from His boy.  The following are examples of ideas we are exploring further:

    • Diet control > Accountability
    • Diet control > Meal planning
    • Fitness > Boxing sport/practice
    • Fitness > Fitness goal progress
    • Gear/Uniform > Care, cleaning, organizing
    • Gear/Uniform > Earning and control of gear/uniform items
    • Gear/Uniform > Gear item wishlist

    With our list of specific ideas, we are now elaborating on how to achieve some of these.  Sir is prioritizing these discussions and determining what rituals and/or protocols are required to facilitate a power-exchange that satisfies Him.  We are right in the middle of this process, and our most recent changes are to better develop Fitness goals and how they are achieved.  You are beginning to see some of these changes here on this blog and at the jockboydiary.

    Sir and His boy look forward to further exploration of power-exchange in our D/s dynamic, and this boy is thankful to be accountable to Sir in new and expanding ways. In a future blog post, this boy will elaborate on specific power-exchange examples and how they contribute to our D/s.

    What are ways you are using power exchange in your relationship? What are some challenges you have faced along the way and have you been able to overcome them?

    Approved for posting by Sir Zuegi.

  • Evolution of Health and Fitness in Our Dom/sub Dynamic

    Evolution of Health and Fitness in Our Dom/sub Dynamic

    “If there is no struggle, there is no progress.”

    Health and fitness is one of the core tenants of our D/s dynamic. Earlier this year, this boy wrote about how we incorporated health and fitness into our dynamic, and the rituals we use to share progress and stay on track.  Here, Sir’s boy will elaborate on how things are progressing with a focus on what has worked and what hasn’t and some adjustments we are making along the way.

    The first step in our health and fitness dynamic was setting goals.  Sir’s long term goals for us are written to be achievable in a one year timeframe.  With half the year over, we’re learning that setting short term goals is equally as important as long term goals. For example, this boy has an approved goal to improve cardiovascular health and endurance, but at this point in the year, this boy has not made significant progress in this area. Setting a short term goal to run x miles per week, or to get into the boxing gym x times per week would be a way to make progress while working towards the long-term goal achievement. So, having short term focused goal milestones that support our long term goals has been necessary for us to make consistent measurable progress. 

    Tracking is an important aspect of our dynamic, and seeing measurable progress towards goals is critical for motivation and focus. However, focusing primarily on muscle growth leaves blind spots that don’t highlight forward progress in other areas. We have found it equally important to measure habits that lead to long term growth. For example, measuring weekly pushups completed has helped this boy understand how progress towards overall improved chest growth is working towards achieving Sir’s approved goal. So, we have found that measuring things that lead to good habits in addition to body measures results in better long-term development.

    We have added service aspects to our dynamic, and many have fallen flat. For example, we experimented with this boy providing Sir with workouts He can complete. We also experimented with this boy making protein shakes for Sir after His workouts.  These attempts have failed to contribute to our overall dynamic due to scheduling or other issues making service inconsistent or impractical. Our finding is that we need to spend more time up front discussing service ideas to make sure they are practical and contribute to our overall dynamic. Otherwise, service can lead to inconsistency, and inconsistency erodes the quality of a D/s dynamic very quickly. 

    Rituals and scenes have been vital to our dynamic. Our monthly measurement and reporting scene is key to leveling on expectations and for setting future direction. A key discovery for this boy is that waiting a full month to discuss progress is not enough to keep the dynamic juices flowing. This is an area where we are leaning in and making adjustments. For example, this boy now has weekly short-term goals where progress is shared online with the community. Boy s37 believes there is also an opportunity to start sharing this with Sir so that there is improved visibility. In addition, this boy has started to share a daily workout plan and schedule with Sir during our AM ritual. This has been a major improvement to keep our health & fitness dynamic present and top of mind each day. Sharing this with Sir daily keeps His boy accountable and increases vulnerability thus improving headspace that contributes to the overall D/s dynamic. A key takeaway is that you can’t discuss this stuff enough. Be willing to go the distance and increase your vulnerability so that it improves your headspace.

    Our latest focus is on establishing service with a focus on what works for us. It is of vital importance for this sub to feel he is providing service to Sir that He appreciates and that this boy can be successful delivering. We have been focused on areas of power exchange and discussing ideas at great length where we both have common interest (more on this in a future post).  We both have a major interest in diet control, and specifically, we have identified meal planning as an area for service so that we can both eat better.  We recently sat down and discussed meal planning, and narrowed it down to the following service dynamic addition:

    • Sir requires His boy to create a weekly meal plan and to present it each Sunday at the AM ritual if both Sir and His boy are home.

    We kept this service open ended enough where it can evolve over time, and where Sir can dial up or dial down His expectations based on His needs and His boy’s availability. As an example, we didn’t define who cooks the meals so that we can keep this practical and He can layer in future expectations to keep this dynamic interesting.    A key takeaway is that service must be practical and requires a lot of discussion, discovery and experimentation to get it dialed in.

    And last but not least, it is critical to understand that a D/s dynamic must change over time. Things come up, health issues arise, and being overly rigid can sound hot, but ultimately it can erode headspace and the feeling of engagement. We continue to increase our communication about our health & fitness dynamic, because the more we talk, the deeper we get in the dynamic. His expectations alone aren’t going to make His boy successful – but his willingness to be vulnerable for Sir and to work hard at making incremental improvements is key to realizing our desired outcomes. 

    What are your successes and failures with measured dynamic outcomes? How have your expectations changed over time as your D/s dynamic evolves?

    Written by s37 and approved for posting by Sir Zuegi.

  • Navigating My Kink Journey: Finding Authenticity

    Navigating My Kink Journey: Finding Authenticity

    Success comes from curiosity, concentration, perseverance and self-criticism. – Albert Einstein

    I have had many new experiences in the last 60 days, each of which could be its own blog entry.  I appeared in full formal leather uniform in public with Sir for the very first time in March!  I volunteered for a local Avatar leather club BDSM play party – which was my first time ever volunteering for a leather event or attending a public play party!  My Sir and I participated in a local community leather social get together to meet folks in our local community.  And, we attended CLAW 25 in Cleveland, where I saw a spectacular presentation on boxing which absolutely blew my mind (who knew there were others that shared a boxing/fight kink)! I even learned some new fast and quick rope tie bondage techniques which really piqued my bondage interests.

    And, you ask, how do I feel about all of this?  OVERWHELMED!

    Let’s start back at the beginning…. back in mid 2024, I joined a book club hosted by the Chicago Leather Archive & Museum, and I committed to reading and reviewing three books – Real Service by Raven Kaldera & Joshua Tenpenny, Protocols – A Variety of View: A Power Exchange Resource Book by Bob Rubel & L.C. Morgynn and The Deep Psychology of BDSM and Kink by Douglas Thomas.  What transpired after this new learning has been a rapid pace and aggressive growth journey that I still find myself on to this day.  From all of this new learning, I concluded that I need to be more authentic with myself and that I need to pursue my full identity by embracing leather.

    I have been kink-positive my entire adult life.  I’d pull out my kink identity just long enough to fulfill a need and then quickly retreat back to my socially acceptable buttoned-up adult self.  I think a lot of younger kinksters probably identify with this – it is what many of us do to maintain an interest in kink while keeping it neatly compartmentalized.  But, what characteristic traits are we shutting out by repeatedly denying ourselves the freedom of expression and an ability to live authentically?

    Flash forward to CLAW 25, and I had the pleasure to attend a talk titled, History and Legacy of Leather Clubs in the United States by Jake Woods and Dr. X-Ray.  Their presentation covered leather club history from 1885 to present.  This was a damn good presentation, and what stuck out for me was the repeating themes – the need for belonging, brotherhood and camaraderie.  140 years have passed, but little has changed as far as the same basic human needs – a sense of belonging and a need for self expression and camaraderie.

    The journey that I am on to find my leather self is presenting me with many complex challenges and emotions.  I have put a lot of pressure on myself to make this transformation real and to get results.  There is also a sense of urgency brought on by our ever changing politically charged world.  But, as much as I like to be in control of things – I am not in control of when or how this is going to happen.  During the leather club presentation at CLAW, Jake Woods asked the audience, “Where are you on your leather journey?” – and a giant light bulb went on in my head!  I am on this journey – I am seeking new learning – I am building new connections – I am in the struggle working hard at making change!

    So, what have I learned, you ask?  Sometimes you have to slow down to speed up.  I need to take more time to feel, to sense and to let these new experiences wash over.  As much as I want to control this journey – that’s just not the way this works.  This journey controls you.  You make yourself vulnerable enough and open enough – and the change happens.  Trust in the process 🙂

  • Embracing BDSM: Navigating Dom/sub Dynamic Challenges

    Embracing BDSM: Navigating Dom/sub Dynamic Challenges

    The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be. – Deb Sofield

    My Dom and I are both kinky people, and we have been since the day we met. In fact, kink is what brought us together from the time we first cruised each other on recon. We each have a vast list of kinks we like, and thankfully, we share many in common. Our interests go well beyond our kinks, and as with most relationships, it requires change and focus to keep up with the changing times. Late last year, we started to embrace BDSM, and specifically the formation of a Dom/sub dynamic between us. While we enjoy leather, sports gear, and a myriad of other fetishes, we had not yet evolved into the arena of full power play dynamics and more pronounced roles as Dom and sub.

    Making that switch to a BDSM Dom/sub style relationship dynamic has been no small effort, and we continue to learn, experiment and discover ways to make this work for us.  I will share some of my greatest challenges with this as a sub, and reflect on the things I am doing to better myself and our relationship.

    Our situation is perhaps a little unique, because we are in a committed long-term relationship that is working to implement pronounced Dom/sub roles.  While we have always been into certain aspects of kink play, many of our relationship constructs were more ‘vanilla’ in nature. We do all the things couples like to do, like buying a house, arguing over paint colors, and getting groceries together. Super kinky right?!  No, in fact, there are a bunch of mundane normal “life” things that can be pretty boring, stressful and real kink killers. Discussing finances, worrying about a career, planning for healthcare – all real buzz killers. The day to day mechanics of commitment can be challenging at best and can test any relationship.

    Now add BDSM to that mix and things get real tricky. Part of that D/s dynamic is being true to your role, and for me that is a submissive leatherboy.  I’m a pretty short fused submissive with a decent amount of self confidence and a love of managing and controlling many things in my day to day life. Knowing how to be submissive and how to let go of having full control is a real challenge for me, because frankly, I am not entirely subservient in all ways.  At times, that has left me questioning my role – am I really a submissive if I can be so controlling?  Sexually, I’m a bottom, but that doesn’t directly imply total submissiveness. After many years of soul searching, I have concluded that yes, I am submissive, but with some real quirks. What truly motivates me is being controlled by outside influences, and one of those key influencers is my Dom. Deep down, I want to please, and I crave that feeling of doing and achieving for someone else.  

    Knowing you are a submissive and acting like one is two different things. We’ll be going through our day to day lives, with me wearing my collar as a symbol of Sir’s ownership and my commitment to Him, but I still veer off path. We’ll be doing housework or some other mundane task, and I will push back or be argumentative. Why?  Because I’m an opinionated human with faults, but this action almost always kills my submissive headspace and just makes me feel lost and disconnected.  So, why do I do it – why does it happen over and over?  It is habit and we humans tend to fall back to what we know regardless of how it makes us feel.  Even though it degrades my headspace and works against everything I am working hard to achieve, it happens over and over. And, it doesn’t just create challenges for me, it creates role challenges for my Dom. So, how does one resolve this?

    They say the first step is to fixing something is admitting you have a problem. So, here we are, step one – check.  The next step is putting effort into correcting the problem. A hallmark of BDSM and the D/s dynamic is behavior modification – or more specifically, behavior emulation of a desired role. I desire to be a better sub, one that is easier to live with, one that obeys, and one that works really hard to earn Sir’s trust and respect. To achieve that in a 24×7 dynamic, means respecting and honoring the little things – the really mundane stuff like making the bed, which Sir requires of His boy. It isn’t just the kinky-sexy stuff, but also the little day to day stuff.  It’s caring about the details and executing in a way that respects Sir’s wishes and demonstrates the utmost respect for Him and for my role.  It is respecting myself and working to achieve outcomes that make me feel good about who I am becoming – His leatherboy.

    They say it is the journey and not the destination, and in terms of BDSM, nothing could be more true. We aren’t born who we want to be – we become that image of who we want to be by emulating the behaviors that we most desire to posses. I desire to be less controlling, more caring, and a true leatherboy – mind, body and soul.

    There is no perfect solution to this challenge for me yet. So far, I have learned to observe and to communicate. Through these practices, I grow closer to my goal, and with time and energy, I believe our D/s dynamic will grow stronger.  I wouldn’t trade this growth opportunity and all of its challenges for anything in the world.

  • Mastering Diet Control: A Day in the Life of boy s37

    Mastering Diet Control: A Day in the Life of boy s37

    “Good habits are worth being fanatical about.” – John Irving

    I have had many ups and downs with my diet over the years.  I have spent much time in the gym lifting weights and putting in the work, all to drive slower than expected results due to poor diet control.  Everything you read about diet tends to be complex and difficult to maintain over time.  It can be hard to break it all down and figure out how to eat right to support growth.  And, what is right for one person might not work the same for someone else.  So, implementing diet control, for me, has been challenging to say the least.

    My Dom does not directly require diet control per His goals for me.  However, in order for me to achieve His approved goals, then I know I must eat in a way that will feed growth and support His desired outcomes.  Therefore, getting my diet right is critical for delivering results for Him.  

    Here, I will share a day in the life of boy s37 from a diet perspective, and how I think about diet and diet tracking.  I will then share how we use ‘diet control ’ as part of our D/s dynamic.  I will share some of my behind the scenes struggles with dieting, and some of the wants and desires I have related to diet control and submission.

    Right after I wake, I consume the first meal of the day – breakfast.  If it is a workout day I follow the workout day meal plan, otherwise I follow the non-workout plan which has fewer calories.  I use the master meal plan printouts I have posted up in the kitchen as a guide for the 2500 calorie per day meal plan.  This is a meal plan I have been using for quite some time, and when I follow it, I get good growth results.  Once this meal is consumed, I open my weekly health tracker and mark meal 1 as ‘HIT’ for the day. 

    At approximately 10am, I prepare and consume the second meal of the day.  Again, I follow the meal plan based on whether it is a workout or non-workout day.  Generally, this meal is a small to medium red potato, cottage cheese, nuts and a piece of fruit.  Once this meal is consumed, I open the health tracker and mark meal 2 as ‘HIT’ for the day.

    The 3rd and 4th meals of the day vary depending on whether it is a workout day or not.  If it is a workout day, I consume a pre-workout snack and protein as meal 3, and then I consume a spinach, protein, nuts and berry shake for meal 4.  If it is a non-workout day, I follow the meal plan as scripted for meals 3 and 4.  Once these are consumed, I update the health tracker for these meals.

    The 5th meal of the day is dinner and I follow the meal plan’s general guidance for this.  Once dinner is consumed, I update the health tracker for meal 5 as ‘HIT’.

    About an hour before bed, I prepare the 6th meal of the day.  This is a bedtime snack, and it is always greek yogurt with frozen berries.  This doesn’t exactly follow the diet guideline, but I enjoy this slight deviation and have been able to make it habitual.  Once this last meal of the day is consumed, I update the health tracker for meal 6 as ‘HIT’.

    Any meal throughout the day that doesn’t meet the diet guidelines is marked as ‘MISS’.  If a meal is missed entirely, then this automatically becomes a ‘MISS’.  For each day, I also track hydration.  If I generally stay hydrated, then I mark this as a ‘HIT’ for the day.  I also track alcohol consumption, and if I consume alcohol as more than just a dinner accompaniment, then this becomes a ‘MISS’ for the day.  I generally allow myself one to two glasses of wine with dinner, and I do not count this as a miss.

    So, with six meals per day plus alcohol and hydration, that makes 8 things to mark as either HIT or MISS each day.  So, in any given week, I am tracking 8*7=56 diet entries as ‘HIT’ or ‘MISS’.  Notice that I am not tracking calories and other macro nutrients.  This has greatly simplified my ability to track this and remain compliant.  Simplicity is the key to successful diet control.

    This diet plan has worked well for me, but there are a number of challenges.  I used to have a bad habit of missing meals 3 and 4 on workout days, because I just don’t have enough time to eat all those meals and workout.  Therefore, I tweaked workout days to combine meals 3 and 4.  The other complication is reporting honestly.  Say I go out for dinner, have a decent steak dinner, but eat fries with it.  Do I count this as a ‘HIT’ since it was mostly in line with my diet?  If I’m being honest with myself and with my Dom, then I count this as a MISS because those fries are not compliant with my meal plan.  My other issue is alcohol.  Alcohol makes me tired and dehydrated the next day, and I tend to miss diet meals after drinking.  I have learned that I must limit alcohol consumption in order to stay focused, positive, and making gains.

    The other issue is disruptions to the pattern of eating and tracking.  If I’m travelling for work or for leisure, then all hell breaks loose, and it is extremely hard to maintain diet.  If I know I’m not going to be able to remain compliant on certain days or for certain meals, then I mark them as ‘NA’ – not applicable – and I don’t track them.  I always confirm with Sir when I am marking days or meals as NA that way He is aware that His boy is intentionally skipping tracking.  Racking up a bunch of MISS’es when traveling can trigger a failure loop, and failure tends to beget more failure, so I avoid this situation whenever possible to remain positive and compliant.

    So, you’ve read this far, and maybe you are starting to wonder exactly how all of this is part of a Dom/sub dynamic?  Each month, I report to Sir the percentage of meals that met diet compliance.  You will find this information on my monthly measures trend, under ‘Monthly Diet Adherence’.  Sir then determines if my performance was inline with the expectations that He sets and communicates to me each month as part of our monthly check-in scene.  As an example, Sir has given His boy a goal of 85% for February 2025, and if I hit that target, then perhaps I will be rewarded.  If I miss it, then I may be punished for it.

    There are many things I fantasize about from a control perspective.  I enjoy being obedient and having this diet adherence goal to work towards and it really does help me focus.  I wish there were more day to day protocols that prevented me from breaking with the diet plan.  An example of this would be being required to ask Sir’s permission to ‘MISS’ any given meal target.  This would remind me that Sir ultimately controls the outcome so long as His boy remains structured and obedient.  We have only just begun to experiment with rewards and punishments for missing diet control targets.  To date, this boy has always hit the target that Sir sets, so this really is a powerful tool to help me stay on target.

    Thus far, I have seen growth on this plan.  The real control dynamic comes when I report growth targets to Sir that demonstrate that this diet is working towards the goals that He has approved.  So far this year I am cutting, seeing chest growth, and improvements in arm, shoulder and thigh size.  None of this happens fast, but the numbers are trending in the right direction, which means that my discipline and focus are driving towards Sir’s desired outcomes.

    You can see current diet compliance details for boy s37 on the jockboydiary blog – this is where he tracks health and fitness progress on a day to day basis.

    What are Y/your trials and tribulations with dieting and remaining consistent to support growth targets?  Have Y/you experimented with Dom/sub dynamics related to diet control?  If so, what have Y/you found that works well? What do Y/you fantasize about in terms of health and fitness control?

  • Chastity Q&A

    Chastity Q&A

    “Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out.” – Robert J. Collier

    In this blog entry, Sir Zuegi and boy s37 will respond to five questions about s37’s chastity service. Both Sir Zuegi and s37 are aware of each other’s questions, but will not have visibility into each other’s answers until this is published.   

     

    Question 1:

    s37: What does it mean to boy s37 to be locked in chastity for Sir Zuegi?

    >> I view being locked in chastity as one of the greatest gestures and sacrifices I can make to Sir as His disciplined leatherboy. My suppression of my own sexual impulses for Him is a testament of my commitment and my willingness to put His needs before my own. 

    We recently attended a class at CLAW LA, where a Dom/sub couple were presenting on their dynamic, and the Dom showcased His sub’s locked cock in the class by pulling it out from his jock pouch.  His Sir then said, “I have the dick, and he has the hole.”  It was a  perfect display of power play exchange between a Dom and His sub, and it is how I feel about my privilege to serve Sir in chastity and demonstrate my willingness to serve.  

    Sir Zuegi: What does it mean to Sir Zuegi to lock His boy s37 in chastity?

    >> It means having control over both his sexual and mental desires. Its restricting access and making him think of me with a physical reminder.

    —

    Question 2:

    s37: How often does boy s37 get to unlock, and how does it feel to be unlocked?

    >> As I write this, I am unlocked and on an airplane sitting next to Sir.  I dislike being unlocked, because when I am unlocked it is much harder for me to maintain sub headspace and it forces me to be more self disciplined and not to give in to temptation. Having sexual urges while being unlocked means staying focused on the fact that Sir has complete control over my dick even when I’m not caged for Him. Is this good training for His boy?  Yes, but I definitely prefer feeling the safety of the cage when Sir has me locked and He holds the key. 

    Sir Zuegi: How often does Sir Zuegi allow His boy to unlock, and how does it feel to You for s37 to be unlocked?

    >> I prefer he’s only unlocked when necessary, like for travel or practical reasons. I prefer boy to be locked and I feel when he is unlocked his mindspace isn’t the same.

    —

    Question 3:

    s37: Is it okay for boy s37 to ask or beg to be unlocked, and if allowed to unlock, does this mean that boy s37 is then allowed to cum?

    >> There is an unwritten rule between us that I do not beg to be unlocked and I only ask to be unlocked when appropriate, such as when passing through airport security. As a sub, I hate begging – it isn’t my thing, and I’m not the type of sub that wants to emphasize my desires/needs over that of Sir’s. So, I don’t beg, and I don’t think that begging is something that Sir desires to see me do. 

    As for being allowed to cum – I do not associate being unlocked with that privilege.  Another unwritten rule is that I ask Sir to cum and receive permission before I am allowed.  To me, this is an important part of being a disciplined leatherboy.

    Sir Zuegi: Is it okay for Your boy to ask or beg to be unlocked, and if allowed to unlock by You, does this mean Your boy s37 is then allowed to cum?

    >> Yes it is ok to beg to be unlocked and I if granted I would approve of boy to cum as it is necessary to stay physically and mentally fit.

    —

    Question 4:

    s37: How does boy s37 remain committed to chastity service and ensure Sir Zuegi remains aware of His boy’s time in chastity?

    >> Early on in the development of our dynamic we created a ritual/protocol that each morning I kneel in front of Sir, thank Him for being locked (or unlocked), and then let Him know how many days since my last allowed uncaged release. I have found this to be an incredibly important ritual, because it helps me maintain a service mindset.  When I am not physically present in front of Sir, then I text Him this exchange.

    Before this ritual was created, it was hard to keep my chastity top of mind and it almost became background. This ritual really allows me to connect with Sir each day over this privilege/sacrifice – and I am extremely thankful to have this moment with Him each day to demonstrate my dedication to being disciplined in this way.

    Sir Zuegi: How does Sir Zuegi remain committed to His boy’s chastity service, and ensure His boy remains constantly aware of his time in chastity?

    >> I require he remains locked or asked to be unlocked even when we are separated.

    —

    Question 5:

    s37: What is the one change boy s37 would like to see with chastity service that he has not yet communicated to Sir Zuegi?

    >> As a good leatherboy, I think I should feel thankful to be locked full time and to suppress all my inner desires to feel pleasure through my locked cock. However, there is a part of me that still wants to feel pleasure. My desire would be to experience edging either as denial or as part of some form of gratification as part of my chastity service.  What I would get from this is two fold – demonstrating my ability to control orgasm for Sir by only cumming with His approval, and to satisfy a need to still feel pleasure knowing full well that it might only lead to frustration. However, I feel that both aspects would demonstrate my dedication to being a disciplined leatherboy.

    Sir Zuegi: What is the one change Sir Zuegi would like to see with chastity service that He has not yet communicated to His boy?

    >> When unlocked boy has his device near him as a reminder that even though he is unlocked he will be locked again.

    –

    Check s37’s current chastity lock status.

    Are you locked in chastity or a Dom/keyholder for someone locked?  If so, what role does chastity play in Y/your dynamic, and what is Y/your favorite aspect of chastity play?